| Confidential: Operation NIGHTCRAWLER IV |
|
Operation NIGHTCRAWLER IV – the fourth installment of the Navy’s most extreme urban survival mission – was held on April 28, 2006. The Operation is the Navy’s ultimate test of stamina, determination and sheer survival skills.
Or, as Chief Technical Advisor Charlie was quoted as saying prior to the Operation: “Never in the field of duty, has so much been drunk, by so few, in such a short time"
1900hrs – 1/5, Star Street, Wanchai
The mission traditionally commences at one fifth in Wanchai, where the participating Sailors are inoculated with Torpedo No. 1 and Torpedo No. 2 – shooters designed specifically for the Navy to strengthen the crew’s immune system. However, if not drunk fast enough they often have the opposite effect.
Attendance level: 12 - Admiral Colani, Commander Mei, Lt Jr Grd Rauti, Chief Petty Officer Beat, Sailors Alex, Reto, Andy, Robin, Curdin, Valeria, Crystal & Sailor Fabian (late – no inoculation)
2000hrs – Undercover BBQ on Bowen Road
The crew proceeded in pouring rain to a secret undisclosed location on Bowen Road where Chief Galley Officer Stefan set up a superb Bratwurst and Cervelat BBQ. First combat activity as certain crew members are under heavy mosquito attack, including Sailor Fabian who takes a full frontal shot on his forehead. The wounded are treated with ample supplies of Fosters.
Attendance level: 13 – Lt Jr Grd Streun joins the mission.
2200hrs – The Cavern, Lan Kwai Fong
As there are no BUZZ sailors in attendance, the Navy sends an infiltration party next door where their ladies team is holding a secret strategy meeting. The Navy successfully breaks into the heavily secured compound disrupts the proceedings. No prisoners are taken.
Sailor Andy goes undercover and sleeps through the checkpoint.
Attendance level: 15 – Able Seaman Rene and Sailor Roushana join the mission.
Returning to Wanchai, the Navy has arranged for a second drinking challenge against AIA Southside Massive. Sensing a highly demoralizing defeat shortly before major dragonboat races, the SMUGlers withdraw from the challenge unopposed.
Sailor Andy stays undercover and sleepdrinks though the checkpoint.
Attendance level: 13 – Lt Jr Grd Streun and Sailor Roushana MIA
Submarine emergency simulation as crew performs dancing exercises in densely packed conditions in a sweaty and rowdy crowd. The mission is infiltrated by a pair of BUZZ sailors. Sailor Andy sleepdances through the checkpoint.
At the end of the checkpoint attendance level falls to 9 as Commander Mei and Sailors Curdin, Valeria and Crystal bow out of the mission.
0300hrs – Neptune, Wanchai
The mission now goes seriously underground as crew members engage in serious espionage activity among foreign female targets suspected of male crew member manipulation. Sailors are reported in different corners of the venue interrogating suspects at close range.
Attendance level falls to 6 as Admiral Colani retreats to Naval HQ and Sailors Reto and Fabian and Able Seaman Rene are listed MIA. Sailor Ruedi joins the mission on return from an overseas assignment.
Sailor Andy briefly awakens to refuel his system and investigate surrounding targets. He is physically unable to proceed to the next checkpoint and is left in the caring hands of two attending nurses.
0400hrs – Dragon Club, Wanchai
The intention of the checkpoint was to train Sailors on active fuel intake restraint by allowing only a single beer intake. Restraint is unnecessary as attending crew report the venue as “deserted and full of ugly girls”. The mission proceeds.
Slowly getting delirious from a slight overdose in fuel intake the surviving Sailors find their way into Fenwick’s, where significant additional interrogation activity is reported.
By 0530hrs attendance levels fall to 5 as the commander of the operation, Lt Jr Grd Rauti bails out. Before returning home, he checks on the condition of Sailor Andy who has not moved from his previous position and whose appearance has been disfigured with lipstick and makeup by the attending nurses who turned out to be double agents.
0600hrs – The Bridge, Wanchai
With Sailor Andy left to his own devices, the surviving four crew members proceed to aptly named Bridge to oversee the rest of the mission. Activity reports are scarce.
The surviving party relocates to Stanley for breakfast and recuperation. Veteran survivors of the mission, Chief Petty Officer Beat and Sailor Alex look in fine form but their young apprentice, Sailor Robin, looks thoroughly shaken from experience. Sailor Ruedi, who joined the mission half way through also has the strains of the operation written all over his face. They are joined by Admiral Colani, Commander Mei and Lt Jr Grd Streun who bring the breakfast attendance to 7.
0900hrs – 1hr training, Stanley Main Beach
With Sailors Curdin and Valeria rejoining the mission on the beach, the Navy has a 9-member crew available for training. Weather conditions are excellent but crew conditions are miserable, resulting in a somewhat ineffective training session. Lt Jr Grd Streun, already famous for his infamous “Streun maneuver” which resulted in a boat sinking several years ago, proposes the new “Streun push maneuver”, whereby the front of the boat paddles towards the stern and the back of the boat paddles towards the bow. The exercise produces plenty of muscle aches but fortunately does not result in another sinking.
1000hrs – Mission complete!
Congratulations to Chief Petty Officer Beat who has become the first Sailor to complete a total of three (!!!) Operation NIGHTCRAWLER. Sailor Alex is the fourth Sailor to complete two Operations while Sailor Robin survived his virgin mission in its entirety.
The Admiralty would like to thank Stefan Herzog for his excellent work with the BBQ. Due to consistent complaints about his
previous title, Stefan is herewith promoted to Chief Galley Officer (CGO). Congratulations! Disclaimer: The Admiralty rejects all responsibility for brain damage, liver failure and other minor ailments incurred as a result of Operation NIGHTCRAWLER. |
Re-fuel stop and rock-and-roll exercise. The Navy had also scheduled a clandestine drinking competition against major competitors BUZZ and Tai Tam Tigers. The Tigers send a three-man Special Ops squad under the command of Captain Tim but withdraw from the challenge in the light of the Navy’s overwhelming advantage in terms of numbers. 
0000hrs – Typhoon, Wanchai 
0100hrs – Dusk Till Dawn, Wanchai 
0430hrs – Fenwick’s, Wanchai 
0730hrs – Main Street USA, Stanley 
|
||||||||||||||||||||||
