| Confidential: Macau Madness Mission |
|
1) Ascent of the
Macau Tower, at 338 meter the 10th tallest freestanding structure in
the world. To carry out such
a complex, difficult and dangerous mission, the Admiralty assembled
a crack team of six officers and sailors from within its ranks together
with a liaison officer of Britain's MI6, know only as "DJ". The naval
members were:
On the 61st floor the team
arranged to rendezvous with its local contact, AJ Hacket, who would lead the Navy to the top of the structure.
AJ Hacket provided the mission with high altitude climbing suits that
had the dual purpose of disguising team members as a group of mental
hospital inmates on a visit to the observation platform. Rob, Kiwi liaison
officer and climbing guide at AJ Hacket, also advised the Navy to leave
its supply of Fosters fuel behind on the 61st floor - a decision which
was to be very much regretted.
 
 Having left the relative safety
of the tower's inner core, the expedition was now fully exposed to the
elements with temperatures rising to 31 degrees and wind speeds of 11
kph. As the team pressed on higher, there was less and less mast and
more and more air. Reaching the last platform before the actual pinnacle,
the team assembled for a final equipment and reality check. Was everybody
mentally prepared for the last stretch? Who got the Liechtenstein flag?
Why did we leave the Fosters behind?
 
 
But by now it was
too late to turn around. Leading the way, Admiral Colani launched the
final assault: up a by now alarmingly thin mast with footholds that
would no longer accommodate more than one foot at the time. Ignoring
the effects of heat, exposure, hunger and thirst (Fosters!) the brave
crew clambered on until finally there was nowhere left to go but down:
at 338 meter, on a platform barely able to accommodate seven sailors,
the Liechtenstein flag was unfurled to cheers and shouts of joy and
satisfaction of a mission accomplished. The view would have been impressive,
if it wasn't for the three flashing lights blinding expedition members
at five-second intervals. The incredible achievement started to sink
in as the Navy looked down on an airliner taking off.
 
 
Part 2 - The
1st Liechtenstein Grand Prix Following a single formation
lap the race was supposed to commence with a flying start on the command
of Admiral Colani's kart. However, Lt. Cmdr. Mei Li jumped the start,
leading to a confused and frenzied scramble for grid positions into
the first corner. By the time Admiral Colani crossed the starting line
the race was well under way far down the track. A tightly fought wheel-to-wheel
battle between Adm. Colani and Lt. jr. grd. Rauti on laps 24 to 27 was
eventually resolved when Lt. Rauti hit the grass and gravel on the entry
to the start/finish straight. Surprised by his opponent taking the scenic
route, Adm. Colani lost control of his own vehicle and promptly crashed
into the tire wall on the straight. Both managed to keep their engines
running and after pulling their machines out of the deep gravel continued
the race. Sailor Tui followed a conservative
racing strategy, which meant avoiding the mayhem and leading an accident-free
race. Lt. Cmdr. Mei Li was caught
on camera making a rude and indecent gesture to Adm Colani as he finally
overtook her following the botched start. The race stewards later decided
against imposing any penalties on her as she argued that she was not
properly briefed on the starting sequence and claimed the hand signal
was merely a sign of encouragement. With cars going in and out
of the gravel at increasing intervals, race officials lost control of
the track positions and by the time the race was over, the Navy as a
whole was declared the winner.
 
Part 3 - Iki-iki
intelligence gathering The rest of the mission was
spent gather intelligence on local F&B conditions and other iki-iki
opportunities. The following important information was passed on to
Admiralty's HQ:
  
|
The
Admiralty is pleased to report on a highly successful special ops mission
in the former Portuguese colony of Macau (now firmly in Chinese hands).
Fittingly entitled Macau Madness Mission, the operation was divided
into three parts: 
Deciding to forgo the Navy's traditional V18 Dragonboat
in favor of a Boeing-powered Turbojet, the team arrived in Macau at
1100 hrs. Clearing immigration smoothly, the group split into two, with
Unit Alpha establishing camp at the base of the tower while Unit Delta
took possession of the team's land transport vehicle, the MOKE (Macau
Onshore Killer Engine). The designated transport officer, Lt. jr. grd.
Rauti, familiarized himself quickly with this highly versatile combat
vehicle - and promptly got lost twice on the way to the tower. 
Having fallen behind schedule, the re-united team wasted
no time in penetrating the imposing tower's concrete core where it was
discovered that an elevator was available leading all the way to the
61st floor. This would certainly make climbing the bottom part of the
tower a lot easier! 
With all team members properly fitted out with harnesses,
helmets and an ingenious rail safety device, the group commenced the
actual climb up the inside of the tower. After ascending countless levels
in hot, sticky and oxygen-starved conditions, the team finally moved
to the outside of the mast. The scenery was breath taking - as was the
exposure. Thanks to excellent weather conditions all of Macau was visible
(it's not that big!) with the urban sprawl of Zhuhai in the back and
Lantau Island in the polluted distance. 
Following a power lunch and several re-fuelling stops, the
Navy proceeded to the Macau Go-kart track for the inaugural Liechtenstein
Grand Prix. Held on this recently upgraded facility, the race was going
to be an exciting - albeit somewhat chaotic - affair. 
There were closely fought battles throughout the race as
the sailors fought for every position. The "Princely S-Curve" proofed
to be the crucial turn of the circuit with plenty of overtaking opportunities.
It also offered plenty of parking opportunities as many karts found
their way into the gravel there. 
Petty Officer Roger's race was marred by technical problems,
as he had to come into the pits three times in the search for a faster
kart. 
|
||||||||||||||||||||||
