Coming up short on a long weekend - Part 1
by SAILOR KEN LO

Saturday. Stanley Warm ups. Day 1 of a back-to-back paddling weekend. Bolts of lightning, booming thunder, torrential rain, and the attendance of every HK Gov Services employee, foreshadowed what the Admiralty considers to be the most repugnant, offensive, vexing, derogatory, and shitty words (right after "Repechage") that can be said on any Navy mission: Gold Cup B Finals.

Now that you know the conclusion, we'll take it back to the beginning like a Tarantino narrative.

0945. Race 1. The team arrived at the starting line on time! The start was clean, transition not bad, and the sprint was worthy. The Navy won a decisive P2 and surprisingly weren't too far from the Firemen who beat us by only 1 second (it's a lot, but it's the Firemen we're talking about).

The semi-finals saw the team crumble, possibly from the lunch MSG hangover. The start was groggy. The transition took a lifetime. The power up call resulted in frantic and out-of-sync paddling. It may have been the psychology of the word "Power" that caused sailors to thrash aggressively yet aimlessly. P3 behind more Firemen and the Police. And with that, we were tossed like garbage into the B finals.

Gold Cup B Finals. The following is an actual conversation.

Maurice [Holding a beer]: Kenneth what boat are you?
Ken: I think we're boat 5.
Maurice [Finishing beer, tossing out, climbing onto boat 5]: Ok, get in. Let's go!

It doesn't get more Navy than that. The Navy paddled harder and cleaner than Race 2 but only achieved P2. The trophy (everyone gets one in Stanley) proudly proclaims "First Runner Up, Gold Cup B Finals", but we're old enough to know that it actually means "Second Best in the Second Best Final".

The short boat races (10 paddlers in a Standard Boat - go figure) were the few rays of light in an otherwise bleak day. We smashed the competition in Heat 1 and finished first. But the final saw the Navy facing Stormies (aka 2014 winners, aka 10 bears in a boat) and a new Chinese team. Stormies and the Chinese team flew off the starting line, putting a boat length between them and the pack within seconds. All the Navy could do was paddle hard for P3. It was gruelling, but it was done.

Tired, shamed, drenched and de-motivated, the Navy left Stanley to prepare for round 2 the next day.

A few sailors were seen sulking over a 24" pizza at Paisano's. Defeat pizza just tastes better.