The Admiralty answers important questions in regards to the Navy’s performance at the Mui Wo Dragon Boat Races:

Question: Why does the Navy race in Mui Wo?

Admiralty: Because it is an excellent warm-up event before the Big Race in Stanley. At 300m in fast wooden boats, it is just a bit longer than Stanley and thus allows us to fine-tune our strategy and race piece.

Q: If it is such a good practice race so close to the big event, why can’t the Navy muster 20 paddlers on the day and shows up with 18 instead? Is it because the Navy likes to paddle light?

A: A very good question for which we don’t have a good answer, except to say that we still need more Sailors in this Navy. Our first heat with 18 of our own guys was arguable the best with a time of 1:08.33 (although tides of course make a difference). Imagine what we could have done with twenty of our guys instead!

Q: So how did the rest of the day go?

A: Well, firstly we lost another paddler, as Apprentice Sailor Linstow came under a piranha attack and lost half his leg. Although it would normally be standard procedure to continue racing without a flinch, we sent the Sailor to hospital to have his leg fixed for the Big Race in Stanley. We then borrowed a sizable Frenchman from the Green Tigers who helped to propell us to another victory in heat two in 1:12.52.

Q: So two victories in two heats – you must be pleased?

A: We were very pleased with the decisive victory in Heat #1 where the next boat was four seconds down. However, our second heat (against the same teams) was much closer with the Navy winning in 1:12.52, followed by a 1:12.75 and a 1:13.30. This was likely due to a much messier start (not enough focus), plus the fact that we did two starts on the way out which was too much and did not leave enough explosive energy for the real start. Lesson learned. Also, victories in the heats don’t matter in Mui Wo, as it is all about race times.

Q: And how were your race times?

A: Well, our combined time for the two heats was 2:20.85, which was the 11th best time out of the 47 men’s teams. Somewhat annoyingly, the SMUGz' combined time was 2:20.69, i.e. 16 hundredth of a second faster, which meant they made it into the Silver Cup Final while we ended up one level lower in the Gold Plate Final. They obviously raced with 20 guys, not 18.

Q: So at least you won the Gold Plate Final?

A: That was the plan, but it didn’t happen. Although we had a good start, superb boat speed and the capacity to ramp it up a notch at forty strokes, CAL Dragon beat us to the line. There was an argument whether it was down to the additional paddlers we had taken onboard in an executive decision to paddle with 20 guys. However, that is academic and besides the point – the real question is the second one above, i.e. why didn’t we have 20 of our own guys to start with. If you’re a Sailor in the Navy and you were not there, maybe you have the answer!

Q: So Sailors Albritton, Haggerty, Murray, Joffrey, Hazen and Palmer will do toilet duty for the rest of the season?

A: The Admiralty’s Disciplinary Committee is currently reviewing different options.

Q: Anything else?

A: Yes, warm Foster's tastes like %*&@! CMDR Streun, who was in charge of ice, will be court-martialed and charged with crimes against humanity.