The Liechtenstein Princely Navy beats most of its Western counterparts at the HKIPC Deep Water Bay Dragon Boat Race but runs into strong opposition against the entire Chinese fleet.

The HKIPC Deep Water Bay race is the signature 500m race in Hong Kong and certainly in our opinion a race that we wish to do well at. It attracts many of the top teams, both Chinese and Western, while most ‘fun’ teams give it a miss as they consider it too hard. 500m is, of course, a long distance race, but the Navy’s highly confidential fitness and technical training have conditioned the crew for maximum power over two minutes (useful also in many onshore pursuits).

We thus arrived fairly confidently, yet never underestimating the competition. As always, we only fielded one team in one category (Men’s Open) since there are no women in this Navy (except our highly qualified drummers, of course) and also no ‘mixed’ (although we can’t vouch for the sexual orientation of every single crew member).

Another firm belief of the Admiralty is that we do not participate in repechages, as they are an insult to the reputation of an international blue water naval force of our caliber. Hence, the order for the first heat was fairly simple: finish in the top four in order to qualify for the semi finals!

And so we lined up against Windrider, Freudenberg & Villene, Shatin A Kung Kok, Tui Min Hoi DB Team and the Royal X Men for our two minute pain-to-glory-ride. A potential danger could be posed by Shatin and Tui Min Hoi – both of which were unknown quantities to our Naval Intelligence and Warfare Institute (NITWITS).

Sticking with our KISS concept (Keep It Simple, Stupid), Chief Racing Officer Barnaby further simplified the race strategy into a LiechtenStart, ready-and-reach and 60, then up a gear and on to the finish – easy!

Conditions at the start were pretty good, the sun was out (despite weather forecasts predicting the end of the world) and we were ready to rock n’ roll. HOOT and we were off into what quickly turned into a two horse race – us against Tui Min Hoi – keeping things very close to the finish line which they crossed in 2:10.17 and us in 2:11.91. Everyone else was in the 2:20s and the Royal X-Team even managed a 2:30.65. They must have gotten lost on the way.

Thus we were in the semis and had about four hours to kill. Although it was tempting to break into our Foster’s cache early, we held back and stayed focused.

By definition, the semis would obviously be a bit more difficult. We would have to battle it out against the SMUGz as well as the IPC A and B team, the Tai O Friendship Team, Superwin Dragon Boat Team, and the Architects team (which came into the semis via the Repechage). Here, our NITWITS intelligence was a bit clearer with the obvious threat being IPC who came into the semis on the second fastest time of the day (2:02.17) and Tai O. Only the top two finishers would make it into the Cup Final, which was our destination of choice.

The tide was pushing out by now and hence we needed a bit more finesse at the start. And aggression. And power. All of which we summoned as we launched down the course with Tai O and IPC to our left. We stayed well composed – breathing, thinking about technique and stroke length – while puking our hearts and lungs out to put the power down. IPC was obviously ahead and their finish TOOT (2:03.89) came long before ours (2:10.31). Unfortunately, the Tai O Friendship Team – whom we shall now de-friend – managed to eke out a 2:09.47 and thus deprive us of a place in the Cup Final by eighty-four hundredth of a second. Again, behind us was a big gap with fourth place downwards coming home in 2:14 – 2:19. The Architects managed a 2:28.55, probably getting lost on the way.

We were in the Plate Final now, which aside from us was an entirely Chinese affair. The only two Western teams to make it into the Cup Final were IPC (which won it) and Lamma Dragons (who came last). All our other past rivals like SMUGz, BUZZ and Stormies were relegated to lower finals and tail races.

Having only Chinese boats in the final meant the starter didn’t bother with English. “Lok ho, tan hau! Lok ho, tan hau! LOK HO, TAN HAU!” 'Lok ho' (number six) just wouldn’t 'tan hau' (go back). 'Lok ho' also jumped the start and so we all had to ‘tan hau’. But eventually it was “ho!” and then “go!” for the final two minutes of explosive paddle power. It was another tight race, but this time five or six boats were in contention. Sixty strokes and up a gear. One hundred strokes and still no end in sight. 110 – more power – 120 – more – 130 COME ON! – someone tooted across the line but our race wasn’t finished yet – four more TOOTs in rapid succession and that was it.

HK Challenge Club had clinched the Plate in 2:08.26, while Tui Min Hoi (2:11.99), the Sea School Old Boys (2:12.46), us (2:12.87) and Superwin (2:13.00) all arrived within one second from each other.

In conclusion, fourth place in the Plate Cup is less than we had hoped and wished for. But it’s becoming increasingly obvious that the better we get and the more we leave our old rivals behind, the more we run into new ones – mostly Chinese crews which are light and fast. So we simply got to get better, faster and add more power. Or lose some weight!