“Dive, dive dive!” The unmistakable command came down from the bridge by LTCMDR Streun. “We’re going to periscope depth,” advised LT Charlie. “Activate sonar and engage target at depth,” the Admiral instructed as the Navy battened down the hatches and went into full submarine mode. Outmaneuvered at sea level by lightweight fishermen Attack Boats, the Liechtenstein Princely Navy proved its versatility once again by crossing the final finish line of the 2009 season below the surface and still managing to come fifth in the Gold Cup!

Over the years, the Stanley Short Course Race has grown into a highly competitive event that attracts a lot of very strong local and fishermen’s teams. With 98 teams enrolled (42 men’s teams) it has turned into one of Hong Kong’s largest races and the Gold Cup remains heavily coveted. This year, the organizer was keen to point out, it also attained IDBF Affiliate Event status. At the same time, since it is the last race of the season for most teams, it remains a fun event where everybody wants to enjoy themselves and paddle their hearts out before the long dragonboat-deprived offseason.

Coming off a somewhat disappointing Stanley Championships, the Navy was determined to put things right and finish the year in style after what can only be described as an outstanding season. Despite a weather forecast of rain and thunderstorms, conditions were near perfect with flat calm waters and the scorching sun kept hidden behind overcast skies for most of the day.

After a Navy prescribed power breakfast of cocaine-spiked Red Bull and one hundred pushups just to get the blood flowing, HSH Liechtenstein was set on target course in lane 3 of heat 5 at 0932hrs. To our left, in the fast lanes 1 and 2 (they’re always faster!) was Luen Hing Dragon and The Fat Buddy, which despite its name consisted of very skinny and presumably light Sailors. To our right, in the slow lanes, Freudenberg & Vilene, Pokka Café and Ocean Park.

The Navy was off to its usual LiechtenStart, which is a strong, powerful affair but much slower than the explosive fast-paced rocket launch of our Chinese competitors. Sticking to our piece, however, we knew that the rapid-fire approach of the enemy combatants could not last the distance and by twenty strokes into our chug we had crept back at them. Red Bull pumping in our heads, we tried to jump ahead but messed up the timing a bit. We also overestimated the distance as the race was over in less than 50 strokes after the start – it’s not called the Short Course Race for nothing! But we managed a decent third place and as always, left some room to improve throughout the day.

Grab a bite to eat, hydrate with more Red Bull and get ready for the next round! Things were getting serious now as all our competitors in the semi final had finished in the top of their first heat. We were also the only foreign-powered boat in a sea of Chinese teams: Tam Shum Dragon, Fishermen’s Recreation Club, HKU, Fat Buddy (again!) and sauce-maker Lee Kum Kee.

But the Navy is not easily intimidated and the fact that we were in the fast lane (2) certainly helped our confidence. Having learned from our first heat that “it is shorter than you think!” we prepared to make it work. Keep it simple: stay long, stay clean, and keep it together! We’ve done it a million times in training - “yellow to yellow” (or “buoy to buoy”, which however is often mispronounced and leading to a misunderstanding as regards to the sexual orientation of our Sailors).

And so we did: we executed a faultless start, which yet again put us behind, but we kept it together throughout the piece, breathing, looking up, keeping the timing, digging deep, chugging hard and plowing our way across the finish line in first, 0.49 seconds ahead of Tam Shum Dragon and less than a second gap to the Fishermen’s Recreation Club in third.

It was a spectacular performance and it secured us our first ever place in the Gold Cup at the Short Course Race! In a way, we had won already. We were in the top seven of 42 very competitive teams.

For the Gold Cup Final we had South Eagles to our left and Sea Tiger, who came 2nd last year (and not to be confused with the Tai Tam Tigers, which somehow saw their performance deteriorate after a fifth place finish in the semi finals), to our right. Both had set a blistering fast time of under 51 seconds in the semis while we were on a 52.26.

But times don’t matter as much as the lanes and being in boat 4 could not be considered lucky. In the contrary, boat 4 was clearly shorter than the boats we had raced earlier as there was less space between the front stroke and the drum. With a combined crew weight of 1,557 kg (or 1.557 AWT – alive-weight tons), destroyer HSH Liechtenstein was sitting heavy in the water. Having a shorter boat also did not help with the alignment at the start, as we were repeatedly called forward, but simply couldn’t unless the helmsman let go of the rope.

In the end, it mattered little. South Eagles and Sea Tiger were off at such a furious pace from the start that there never was a chance to keep up. We were at thirty strokes by the time we hit their combined wake from left and right. Taking on heavy water across the bow it was clear that we would not cross the line above surface. But the finish line extends all the way to the seabed and having been drilled at length never to stop paddling until the Chief Focus Officer stops, almost all crew paddled on as we went to periscope depth. Taking the momentum of the entire season with us we dived under the finish line in fifth, ahead of the very dry and very buoyant Tam Shum and Stormy Dragons.

The Admiralty is thus pleased to report a glorious end to fantastic season. We participated in six events and completed a total of 15 races, 10 of which we finished in the top 3 and three of which we won outright. Aside from the Stanley Championships we left our main competitors paddling mostly in our wake and in addition we proved today that we are also a naval force with tremendous submarine capabilities.

This being the end of the season, the day was finished with a traditional Navy BBQ on the beach and enforced liquidation of five cases of Foster’s fuel (plus the entire supply carried by the local Wellcome supermarket) and excess Red Bull supplies (diluted with Vodka for easier consumption). Post celebratory intelligence reports suggest high levels of intoxication and random female target interrogation while naval medical reports have indicated cases of light head injuries from trying to open fuel supplies with the forehead, a technique not recommended by the Admiralty.